Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Yesterday. I officially lost my mind.

Yesterday I lost my mind.
Officially lost it.
I was cleaning and like usual vacuuming every single day because my hair falls out everywhere and I don't want the babies to get it wrapped around a finger or toe. I became super frustrated because everywhere I looked there was my hair, even though I had just vacuumed the day before. Then I started thinking about all these precious children that go through chemo and lose ALL of their hair and how that must make them feel so I went right into the bathroom and chopped ALL my hair off. All of it. So many things were running through my mind at the time and I just didn't care, it's just hair...

Let me tell you. I hate my hair. I feel ugly. It's gone and I feel naked. I know it will grow back in time and although I was trying to do something selfless I feel so upset. I got up this morning, looked in the mirror and busted out crying. I will get used to it of course, because there really is no choice in the matter, its done.

I have always been the type of person to do things in the spur of the moment, this would be no shocker to my family or anyone that knows me. When I was in fourth grade I wanted my cartilage pierced, I begged my mom but she said no way. So when we went to the grocery store that day I stayed in the car, took my earring out and pierced my cartilage. When she came back I was so excited, I said, "Look mom, I did it". Needless to say she made me take it out, grounded me, and I got a nice spanking when I got home. I have pierced everything myself, always have, and usually my mom just makes me take them out.

Now that I have kids of my own, I have kinda backed away from being so wild but there are still moments (like yesterday) I make a rash decision.

Oh well. Hair will grow back right?


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